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Brooke had a restless night. She was so upset that Deacon hadn't insisted on a divorce. She wanted her daughter free from him, but did she want something else? She thought about waking up in his arms. It had felt strange but good, so different from anything with Ridge or Thorne. She wasn't in love with him but there was an intense sexual attraction. She yawned and stretched and sat up in her bed. Sunlight drifted into her bedroom. It was a beautiful day, but not for Brooke. She felt so guilty having these feelings. She knew in her heart she should hate Deacon but part of her just couldn't. She looked at her phone. She wanted to call Bridget and beg her to listen to her but she knew it wouldn't help. She decided to confide in Eric. Maybe together they could reason with the girl. Brooke got out of bed and went into the bathroom. She performed her regular morning ritual and then turned on the shower. The hot stream filled the room and her image in the mirror disappeared. She pulled her tiny nightie over her head and looked down at her body. `Not bad for a lady your age.' She thought to herself. She stepped under the gentle stray and let it cover her aching body. `Now where did that come from?' She wondered. `I'm only aching for one thing.' She thought with a laugh. She reached for her soft sponge on the shelf but couldn't seem to find it. The steam was thick and her hand inched its way across. Suddenly she felt the sponge gently glide across her breasts. Her nipples hardened and she gasped in shock. "How did you get in here?" She asked. The man laughed, a deep, throaty, sexy laugh as he let the sponge move lower down her body soaping and tingling her. "You shouldn't be here." She protested. "Do you want me to leave?" He asked as the sponge made it's way to her delta. Brooke moaned as her legs spread, almost as if they had a mind of their own. The sponge caressed her most intimate place sending shivers through her until she felt the sponge drop to the floor of the shower, only to be replaced by probing fingers. "Deacon, oh God Deacon." She moaned. "You like that don't you?" He purred into her ear. He pulled her close to him and she felt his hard erection pressing against her butt. His fingers continued to separate her womanhood, exploring her, teasing her making her desperate for more. She reached behind her and touched his throbbing shaft. Her fingers worked their way up and down him. He was rock hard and yet silky to her touch. She leaned back closer to him as he inserted a finger inside her. "Deacon." She moaned. His thumb found her nub and he drew wide circles on it. She closed her eyes as her body ignited. "More, please more." She begged. He zeroed in on her pleasure point, rubbing his thumb back and forth, around and around. Brooke nearly fainted from the sensation. Her body began to spasm as an intense orgasm rocked her but he wouldn't let up. Then he turned her around to face him. Her eyes were filled with tears as his mouth covered hers, claiming it as his own. His tongue danced with hers and once more his hand spread her legs. Brooke lifted on leg and he took it with his other hand and held it at his waist. She reached for his pen!s and stroked him. He smiled as her hand pulled him closer to him. "Put it where you want it Brooke." He commanded her. She stood on her tiptoes. She was trembling from the torture he was still performing with his fingers but she needed him inside her. She guided him to her opening but he was leaving it all up to her. She put her leg back down to gain better footing. She teased the tip of him with her own fingertips. Suddenly it was her show. She was in control. Deacon watched as she took him with both her hands. She stroked him up and down his shaft and when a tiny bead formed at his tip she touched it and then brought her finger to her mouth and licked it. Deacon was wild with want at that. It took all that he had to keep from exploding. In his mind he started the old familiar routine of counting and picturing anything, anything to regain his composure. Brooke grinned as she saw the look on his face. Her hands continued to pleasure him and then she inserted the very tip of him into her opening. He couldn't control it any longer. He lifted her up and onto him as he pushed his way deep inside her. Brooke screamed loudly in shock and pleasure. She rode him like she had never rode a lover before. His hands caressed her breasts as he pounded in and out of her. It didn't take long at all until Brooke was once more at the brink. "Deacon, oh Deacon." She moaned again. "Give in to it Brooke, let it happen." She gasped as her body exploded into another orgasm, seconds later he spilled his seed deep inside her and they clung to each other in a sated and fully satisfied embrace.
Brooke rolled over and looked at the man who was staring at her. Somehow they had ended up back in her bed and Brooke was feeling guilty again. Not only guilty but mad. This man had made her a promise and he had broken it and yet she had let her have her body again and worse than that, he also was starting to claim a piece of her heart.
"Deacon you have to leave her, you promised me." Brooke said as she reached over and touched his arm.
"It's not that easy Brooke, she's so sweet and so good."
"But you don't love her!"
"I do, I do love her. I just know it's not going to work for us in the long run. But I can't hurt her."
"Can't hurt her?" Brooke almost screamed. "What do you think this would do to her if she knew?"
"I know, I don't know why I keep coming back but I do." He said as he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. "You're so beautiful."
"Deacon you and I can't keep doing this. We can't. It will kill her and Bridget has to come first for me."
"I know you're right." He said. "But somehow I can't seem to stay away from you. It's like an addiction."
"Well we have to break it." She said as she sat up and pulled the blanket to cover her. "Deacon we have to. I know that I am attracted to you but it's not good, it's not healthy and it's not real. Now I am begging you. Please go home and end your marriage. Not for me, for Bridget and for yourself. You know it's the right thing to do."
"Brooke." He started.
"You know I'm right." She said. She got up and grabbed her robe. Deacon caught a glimpse of her bare breast as she slipped it on. He felt another wave of desire but he fought it. He knew the timing was all wrong. "Go home Deacon. Go home and do this." She told him.
She walked out of the room leaving him alone. He pulled her pillow to him and sniffed it. Her perfume was still there and he sighed. "How can I do that and never see you again Brooke?"
All day long Brooke waited to hear from Bridget. She prayed that Deacon had done as she requested. Work was impossible. She stared at the same words on a report until she finally gave up and put it away. Her hand kept drifting to the phone and then she would stop herself. Bridget had to come to her, she would have to wait. She looked again at her watch. It was three P.M. and still nothing. "Deacon please don't let me down." She whispered.
She glanced again at the closed door. "Come on baby, come to Mommy and we'll make it better." Brooke said as her eyes filled with tears. "I won't ever hurt you again. Not if you come home now." She said. Suddenly to her shock there was a knock at her door. "Yes? Come in." Brooke said hopefully.
"Hi Mom." Rick said as he walked in.
"Oh, hi honey." She answered with a weak smile.
"Is something the matter?" Rick asked with concern. He had noticed that she hadn't been acting normal lately. He knew she wasn't happy with his marriage to Amber or the baby but this seemed different to him.
"I'm worried about your sister." She confided in him.
"Me too Mom, I sure wish she would dump that asshole she's married to. I want Deacon Sharpe out of all of our lives forever." He said.
"So do I Rick. And I think it is going to happen. I spoke to him and he promised me he'd end his marriage."
"And you trust him? Mom come on, what happened to you? You used to be smart. He's a user, he wants our money and he wants my wife. He's not going anywhere until he has both."
"If it was money he'd be gone Rick, we've all offered him tons of money. And as for Amber, no, I don't think he's after her anymore. I think he genuinely cares about your sister. I just hope I got through to him. I hope he realizes that he's only going to bring her down."
"I don't trust him Mom. I think the only hope we have is getting through to Bridget." He sighed.
"Where did I go wrong? Oh God honey, I ruined both your lives with me running after Ridge. I'm so sorry. I wanted so much more for both of you. You should both be in school having fun, making friends. You should both be starting your lives but now you're both stuck in marriages and I never wanted that for you. Never."
"Mom, I'm happy. I love little Eric and I love Amber too."
"You love Amber because of Eric, not the other way around. That's no way to live your life." She sighed. "If only I had shown you both a better example. I do blame myself Rick, I do."
"No Mom, you loved us, you always loved us. And we don't blame you for trying to make a life with Ridge. I'm just sorry that it didn't work out for you." Rick told her.
"Well it didn't and I spent too much time worrying about me, me, me! I had children who needed me and I wasn't there and now look."
"Mom it's okay. It's not your fault and I am happy and Bridget will do the right thing. We all have to keep after her."
"I'm going to talk to your father too." Brooke told him. "Maybe she'll listen to him. But Rick, we have to support her when it happens. She's going to be hurting so badly."
"I know Mom." He said.
They both turned at the sound of the phone. Brooke said a silent prayer and picked it up.
"Brooke Logan." She said in a half whisper.
"Brooke it's me." Deacon's voice said to her. She took a deep breath.
"Well?" She asked.
"It's done. It's over. Brooke she's home at the beach house alone. She needs someone."
"I'm not sure if that someone is me." She said sadly.
"It's all over Brooke, everything. I just want to tell you that I think you are an amazing woman. You deserve nothing but happiness Brooke and you will find it. I'm sorry for any pain I caused you and your family and I will be leaving."
"Leaving?" She gasped. "Where? When?"
"I can't stay in LA Brooke, as soon as I find a new gig I'm outta here. I'm already interviewing people to take over the Lair." He told her.
"What about Little D?" She asked. Rick, who was listening to her end of the conversation, flinched at the way his mother referred to his son.
"Amber and Rick will raise him well. Maybe in time I can reestablish some kind of life with him, but for now Bridget has to be my first priority and me in LA is not gonna do it." He told her.
"Deacon, I, I just don't know what to say." Brooke said, suddenly feeling lost and alone.
"I'll never forget you Brooke, never." He said. "Goodbye Brooke Logan, you're one hell of a woman." He said and he hung up. Brooke stared at the phone until Rick took it from her hand and hung it up.
"It's over?" He asked.
"He told her he wanted a divorce. She's alone at the beach house Rick. Go to her, please go to her." She begged him.
"Mom, she needs you, not me."
"I need to think, I need to think." She said.
"Mom you are acting so weird." Rick told her.
"Just go to her and I'll be there later. Right now she needs a friend and honey, that is you. The time for her mother will be later." She got up and hugged Rick. "Go now."
"Hey boss, what's wrong?" Alex asked Deacon. He had been sitting at the bar twirling a glass of whiskey but not drinking it. His cigarette sat in the ashtray burning down. Deacon was obviously preoccupied and Alex was concerned.
"I ended my marriage today." He told her. He picked up the whiskey and downed it in one quick gulp. "Another." He told the bartender. Alex looked at him as he poured it for Deacon.
"It's for the best Deac, she's just a kid and you were never really in love with her. Maybe now you can get Amber back." She smiled.
"Amber." He said. "Hmmm, I haven't even thought about her in so long. No, Amber is the past too Alex, all this is the past." He said as he gestured with his hands.
"All what?"
"The Lair, Bridget, Amber, LA, Br, everything." He said stopping himself from saying Brooke's name. "I'm leaving town as soon as I set someone up here. Time for old Deac to move on."
"Wow, I never thought it was that important to you Deacon." Alex said. "I mean, why leave? It's not like the Forrester's will be coming to The Lair."
"Bridget might. It's not going to be easy on her. She loved me Alex, no matter how rotten I was to her, she loved me."
"Don't you have to stay around for the divorce?" She asked him.
"No, I called their hot-shot lawyer and he told me he'd handle everything. All I have to do is keep in touch with him and he'll have everything sent to me to sign. I have nothing and I'm asking for nothing."
"What about Little D?" She asked him.
"That's over too Alex, I'll miss the squirt but he's better off with Amber and Rick I suppose. Besides, Brooke will make sure he has everything he ever needs." He said wistfully.
"Brooke? You really think so? She never came across as the maternal type to me." Alex said turning up her nose.
"You'd be surprised at what that woman would do for her kids Alex." He said. "You'd be shocked at all she was willing to give up."
"Hey Logan." Ridge said as he walked into Brooke's office. He looked at her and suddenly realized she was crying. "Brooke? What's wrong?"
"Nothing Ridge, don't worry about me."
"I'll always worry about you." He told her.
"Well, I am not your concern. But maybe this is, after all she is your sister." She gently blew her nose and looked up at him. "Deacon told Bridget he wants a divorce today."
"That's wonderful!" He said. "Oh Brooke, how is Bridget?"
"I don't know." She said. "I sent Rick over to see her."
"You're her mother, you should be there."
"I'm sure she doesn't want me. After all I was the one who helped convince Deacon to do it. Maybe you and Taylor could talk to her, I know Bridget loves you and she really respects your wife."
"Logan this is not you talking. You need to be there for her. Taylor and I will be too, but right now she needs you, she needs her mother."
"I can't Ridge, I have too many issues right now." She looked up at him. "Was there something you needed?"
"I was just checking to see how you were. We haven't talked much since." He left the rest unsaid.
"Since I made a fool of myself over you you mean. No, we haven't and maybe it's for the best. I know your whole family hates me, I'm surprised you don't too."
"I could never hate you." He told her.
"You'd be surprised, but you remember that Ridge. Someday I may have to rely on that." She smiled at him. "Your wife came to see me."
"I heard." He said. "Brooke I wish you two could get along."
"Not likely Ridge, too much happened, too many bad feelings, but I promise I won't bother either one of you again."
"Now don't go talking like that. What would I do without Brooke Logan in my life."
"You'll just have to find out Ridge. I'm not as much as a masochist as you think."
"I'm sorry Logan, I really am."
"You have nothing to be sorry for. You were only being a friend, just like you always were. I was the one who built it up into something that it wasn't. I hope you and Taylor can both forgive me. I was wrong and I am sorry."
"Do you think there's a chance for you and Thorne?" He asked.
"No." She smiled. "That one thing was true. I projected something into him that wasn't there. I do love him, but not like a wife should love her husband. Another person I hurt in all my stupidity."
"Don't be so hard on yourself Brooke, it took two of you to make a marriage."
"But it was my fault that it happened in the first place." She sighed and looked away. "Anyway, right now I need to worry about my little girl and her broken heart."
"Deacon Sharpe was never good enough for her Logan, this is the best thing that could happen. Now if only he'd just leave." He said angrily.
"He is leaving." She sighed.
"You don't sound too happy about that." Ridge questioned her.
"I'm not happy about anything lately Ridge, but don't worry about me. I'll survive, I always do."
"Just know that Taylor and I will do anything to help." He said.
"Just be there for Bridget Ridge, that's all I ask of you."
"Good Brooke." Deacon said to himself as he watched Brooke get out of her car at the beach house. "Go to her."
He had been watching from the beach for hours. Rick and Amber had been with her. Then Ridge and Taylor had come with Eric. But Brooke had stayed away. He knew he was the reason and he hated himself for causing problems between Brooke and her daughter. He watched her long, sexy legs as she walked to the door. Memories flooded his head of those legs wrapped tightly around him. He felt an uncomfortable tightening in his groin. "I have to forget her." He said. But he knew he couldn't. Brooke Logan had awakened something inside him that he never knew existed. "We really could have been good, if only I had met you first." He sighed. He watched as Brooke embraced her daughter and then they went inside. He lit another cigarette and leaned back against the tree watching.
"I just don't understand it." Bridget sobbed into Brooke's arms. "He did love me, I know he did."
"Honey it wasn't meant to be. Just be grateful that it ended when it did, before it had gone too far." Brooke said as she stroked her hair. Brooke looked over Bridget's shoulder at Eric.
"But it already went too far. He was my husband, he is my husband." Bridget cried.
"Honey he married you for the wrong reasons and I know he did care about you, but not like a husband should care about a wife."
"No Mom, that might be true about you and Thorne but not me and Deacon. He loves me. He'll be back, I know he will."
"Bridget come on honey." Ridge said as he walked over to them. "Deacon Sharpe is not worth it. He is a user, I know it hurts now, but soon you'll forget all about him. You'll meet some nice guy in school and Deacon will be a distant memory."
"Like you and Mom?" She asked.
"That's not the same Bridget. You're mother and I have been through a lot together and we're friends, we'll always be friends. But that can't happen with Deacon, it just isn't the same. You have to forget him."
"It's too soon for that Ridge." Taylor said. She walked over and gestured to Brooke who let go of her daughter. Taylor took the girl in her arms. "It's much too soon Bridget, you're hurting and of course you still love him. But I promise you that time will heal your wounds. And I'll be here for you anytime you need someone to talk to. So will Ridge and you know how much your Mother and Father love you."
"We love you too Bridget." Amber added.
Brooke walked away from them all and quietly walked outside. She felt like she didn't even belong in her own family. The guilt was eating her alive and no one even knew yet. `Yet?' She thought, `They can never find out. It's over and done with. No one will ever know.' She thought as she stepped outside. The salty ocean air felt good on her skin and she took a deep breath. She bent over and took off her shoes and started to walk to the water. The house was behind her and suddenly she felt that she wasn't alone. She was scared and she jumped when she heard footsteps.
"Brooke. It's just me." Deacon whispered.
"Oh my God, you scared me." She said. "Deacon what are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you and Bridget." He said as he walked up to her.
Brooke shivered as he put his arm around her.
"Are you cold?" He asked.
"A, a little." She stuttered. "Oh Deacon she's so sad."
"What do you want me to do Brooke? If you want me to go back to her I will."
"No! No, I don't want that Deacon. You did the best thing." She sighed and inhaled his scent. It was a combination of Sandalwood and Whiskey as well as the scent of his cigarettes. Normally Brooke would have been repulsed but somehow on Deacon it seemed right. She turned to face him and he pulled her close. Their mouths met in a frenzy. Suddenly Brooke felt dizzy and lightheaded. This man had a power over her that no one ever had, not even Ridge. She wanted him. She wanted him like no other. "Deacon no." She said pulling away, regaining her sanity. "We can't, we have to think about Bridget."
"I can't think of anything but you Brooke." He said. "I can't think of anything but being with you."
"Oh God." She moaned as they embraced again. "No! Not here, she'll see us." Brooke protested.
"Let's go somewhere." He told her. "I know an abandoned beach house down the road."
"I must be crazy." She said. But she took his hand and let him lead her away.
CHAPTER TWO
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